My motivation for joining was that I thought I have the knowledge and skills to do it, I have teenage grandchildren so not out of touch and that it would just be a ‘good’ thing to do. During my interview it became clear that in many ways I had similar experiences and challenges as young people in care. I was brought up in the forces, went to many different schools, had constant change and upheaval (my dad was often away for months on end) and as a result had a disrupted education and have no one in my life from childhood other than family. (It is only as an adult that I understand the impact of that way of life – military families were not considered in those days) I made many poor decisions as a teenager (including leaving home – well home left me – at just 17 and I refused to move to Wales with them). It is more with luck than judgment I got away with it but not unscathed.

On my first meeting with my young person It was an ‘OMG’ moment as I thought I might have been a bit naive about what was entailed in mentoring a young person in care. It suddenly felt like a big responsibility. (As she said in her feedback we played a few games to start with – there were a few awkward moments but that didn’t last for more than a couple of meetings). We have always found loads to talk about – clothes, food, hair, books, schoolwork and loads more. As she has grown and matured the topics have become more serious. For example although she says she’s not political at our last meeting we spent most of the time discusssing the USA election result!!

My three words to describe her are funny, clever and feisty. To describe my mentoring experience I said fun, informative and ‘advisory’. I have learned so much about the care system and how schools are an important part of that in many ways – allowing them to grow and mature, increasing their life chances – this applies to all young people but especially to those who have more challenges and vulnerabilities. If I have been a small part of helping her stay in school I will have been of some use. She has told me that she looks forward to our meetings but it is hard to know what impact we actually have. She has opened up (more as time has gone on) about the challenges she faces in her life. We have often discussed decision making and relationships sometimes with me giving ‘advice’. It has at times felt like counselling – form my professional life I have embedded skills around this and it has been said that having, and using these skills makes you a better friend but it is also important to remember that’s not your role as such. I do worry about her and her future, and other kids in the same situation for sure.